Our mission is world domination, and we aren't gonna get that by playing Risk(TM). We want the real thing. Our projects will let us dominate the world as soon as possible. Or not. It's the thought that counts.

Micro$oft Fund

It seems as though computer companies are making all the serious cash these days. All the dollar bills are going to the gates of Bill Gates. We want in on this. So, we're going to start a charitable fund to buy Microsoft. You can donate to our charity if you'd like. Just e-mail us. Representatives are standing by to take your donations. And unlike PBS, we won't sell your name to the Democratic Party.


Yep, we're getting into the beverage business. We've got an idea that no one has tried yet - bottled tap water that is clearly labeled "Tap Water." Everyone knows that Pepsi's "Aquafina" is really tap water in a bottle, but they still shell out a buck for twenty ounces. There's no reason that we can't do the same thing. Besides, honesty is our best policy, and for once we're following our policy.

America Off-Line

We're gonna take down the worst thing in cyberspace - American Online, the garbage truck of the information superhighway. Soon, with our evil plans, it will be known as America Offline. When we succeed, AOL will be no longer exist. But hey, at least there won't be any more busy signals! Our plan involves taking down AOL, back-stabbing Cuba, and killing our arch-enemy, Bill Gates.

Note: Risk(TM) is a trademark of some overgrown money-hungry giant capitalist-pig conglomerate.